March 10, 2007

Wanna Read Something Funny?

Should my mother happen to read what I'm about to share, I will be painfully embarrassed. However, right at this moment, I'd actually welcome feeling that embarrassment compared to the complete mortification I'm caused from another recent experience... Mom, sorry (just in case).

Last weekend I moved to a place only 3 miles from my office in an effort to reclaim the life I've wasted commuting. However, a very good friend of mine was suddenly in town and after not having seen her for over three years - I decided to spend as much time with her during her visit even if it meant delaying my "move" indefinitely. The following week proved to be equally hectic and it wasn't until this afternoon that I was able to return to my old place and get more of my stuff. The major items/furniture had been moved but random odds and ends were still waiting.

The place I moved into is lready aoccupied by two roommates; one full-time employed male and one full-time student (female). The girl and I rarely speak as she spends most of her time in her bedroom. The guy's room is next to mine so, if for no other reason, we run into each other a lot which provides more opportunity for chatting. He seems friendly enough.

Today, when I got back with a car load of stuff and started bringing it in, he walks over to my car and starts to help me carry some of it. What a nice gesture, right? Right. Except, the very first thing he sees when looking into the rear hatch is a bin that I use for storing my..........uh, well see, ok - my sex toys! That's right kids - clear bin, chock-full-o .... you know!

Stay with me... After realizing this, I make a desperate effort to spare myself any further humiliation and take the bin out of the car as I ask him to take the vaccum instead (it is heavy you know?) Being the gentleman he appears to be, he takes out the vaccum - only to find my pair of paton leather, 8" platform, fetish, high heels laying underneath it (did I mention the vaccum was heavy?) No, this is not fiction - just brutal truth laughing right at me! ANY way...meet this person a week ago, offers to help me and he suddenly finds himself staring at my "bag 'o tricks" and costumes, no less.....

"Whatever", I finally tell myself and just accept these things for their comic value. Laugh it off and move on right? Of course.

I decide to shower and guess what I discover? Throughout this episode I was still wearing the baseball cap I had put on at my old place and, get this, you'll never believe me but the hat ACTUALLY says "sleeparound" across the front! Think I might have given him the "wrong" idea? Perhaps. The hat is from a popular hotel chain on South Beach that uses that tag line to encourage clients to try their other properties but SERIOUSLY - - who the hell would even believe that if I tried explaining?

You may wonder why I decided to share my story. Quite simple - if at any moment this glorious Sunday you feel like you're having a rough day - think of me and laugh. Loudly and wholly - be consumed with the sound! I certainly was.

2 comments:

Evansentangel said...

That was original and a novelty, literally ... Would be great stand-up material... Too hard to actually believe, that's why it's so funny. You can't make this stuff up though right? So how was the show at his/you're place...Only trying to make Mom laugh too...Roomate female wouldn't have been laughing as hard as us...

Ladyblog said...

Every single detail is true. Those who know me personally, however, are not the slightest bit surprised. They will all attest to the countless random "episodes" my life is made of.